Another Place We Can Never Go Back to
by Dokuhan
Summary: The Monkees What do the Monkees do when they have extra money? They go out to eat of course! And what beter place than the new restaurant


"Well, guys, I have some good news."

It had been after a gig one night and the Monkees had been getting their stuff together. Peter and Micky were putting away their instruments as Davy loaded the Monkeemobile and Mike, whose guitar was already packed up and put away, was handling their pay. When they heard him speak the trio turned to face him.

"After deductin' bills, rent and the food budget, as well as splittin' the pay four ways, I have conclusion that we actually have money to spare."

"You must be joking!" Davy exclaimed as Peter and Micky's jaws fell in unison. Them? Extra money? Them _and _extra money? No way.

"H-how much?" Micky managed to stutter out.

"Enough for us to eat out tomorrow and still have some left over." Mike even had a hard time believing it, but it was actually true.

Peter managed to regain enough composure to ask "Where are we going to go"

"Well I'm not too sure yet. We can't go back to the diner seeing as the last time we went _someone _did something we can never speak of again." Mike sent a glare at Micky, who shrugged and grinned sheepishly. "I think I may have an idea of where to go, but I won't know until tomorrow."

Agreeing, the Monkees finished packing the Monkeemobile and headed back to the Pad. All four felt an odd feeling in the pit of their stomachs, why did it feel like this was all going to go horribly, horribly wrong?

* * *

"Ni-poon Muh-ra." Mike, Micky and Davy mispronounced as they looked at the sign, displaying the name of the restaurant.

"Um guys…" Peter spoke up "Are you sure it's not pronounced Nippon Mura?"

"Of course not." Micky waved him off "Anyway Mike, how did you find out about this place? You don't seem like the dining coinsurer."

Mike shrugged "I heard some people talking about it in the club last night. Seems pretty popular."

Davy arched an eyebrow at the Texan "'ave you evah even tried Japanese food?"

"Well no. But it can't be that different from Chinese food."

They walked in and came face-to-face with a pale, raven-haired woman. "Hello." She said with a light Japanese accent and polite bow "I am Sayuri and welcome to Nippon Mura."

Mike and Micky looked at Peter in shock. The blond just smirked at his friends before laughing to himself. They turned back to greet the hostess, when they noticed her and Davy staring at each other, with starry eyes. Peter waved his hand in front of the shorter man's eyes as Mike tapped Sayuri's shoulder "Um…miss?"

Sayuri snapped back into attention "Oh, uh, gomen, sorry. I'll just take you to a table." She walked off, still feeling the starry effect, and the men followed her, with Micky, literally, dragging Davy along.

After setting them at a table and handing them menus the woman left, which caused Davy to regain awareness "Nice to meet…" he looked around "'ow'd I wind up 'ere? I must be going crackahs."

Micky snickered and passed him a menu "Nah, you just went starry eyed for the moment-again." He opened the menu and read "Guys?"

"Yeah Mick?" Mike answered, not looking up.

"Do any of you have the slightest idea as to what half this stuff is?"

Peter bit his lip and read on "The only words I recognize are tea, rice and a few different kinds of meat."

"Well after Davy's fasting incident, I don't think we could just have that without him passing out." Mike and Peter joined in with Micky's laughter.

Davy gave a mock glare before joining in as well. After he had recovered from fasting for three weeks in order to avoid being drafted, which had cause him to pass out and send him to the hospital, the guys would sometimes use it to poke fun at him. Sure they were a little sore about it at first, but it was better than short jokes. "One time and you're branded for life."

A waiter came over and placed for pairs of chopsticks on the table. "So are we ready to order?" His accent was a lot heavier than Sayuri's.

The Monkees looked at each other and Mike spoke up. "Well, y'see, it's our first time orderin' from place like this…"

"Oh so you're having a hard time knowing what to get, right? Mind if I give a few suggestions?" They nodded "Well in terms of beverages I would suggest tea. With appetizers I recommend the park gyoza, which is like a dumpling only more fried, and for any vegetarians the springrolls are pretty good."

Mike answered "That sounds like a good idea."

The waiter named off a few more ideas and the musicians placed their orders. After he left the four continued to converse. Sayuri walked over to the table with a teapot, as she poured the liquid she gave a, flirtatious, smile at Davy. "Nice seeing you again Mister…I'm sorry I don't seem to know your name."

"David Jones, but everyone calls me Davy."

The two looked at each other with the same starry eyes as before, when all of the sudden a loud, male voice stood out over the other noises.

"Oi Marukawa-san!"

Sayuri, reluctantly, broke her gaze and looked at the other man "Hai Ishinomori-san?" He yelled something to her in their, native, dialect and she answered the same way. The woman sadly looked back at Davy. "My boss wants me to get back to work, but I hope to see more of you later."

As Sayuri walked away, Micky began to mockingly hum "I'm a Believer" while Mike and Peter snickered, earning the three a glare. "I don't see what's so funny."

Micky didn't even try to stifle his laughter "Sure you don't babe."

Peter picked up one of the pairs of chopsticks. "When was the last time we used chopsticks?"

"I think it was before that dooms-day bug incident." Mike replied as he and Micky broke theirs apart "Why?"

"Because I forgot how to use them."

Davy, Mike and Micky were about to give him an "Oh Peter" –look when they had a sudden reutilization. After a long period of not using them, the chopsticks had become a mystery to them as well.

"Well…" Mike drawled "We'll just have t'wing it."

A while later the waiter returned and placed two plates down. Surprisingly he placed a third plate between Micky and Peter. "Compliments of the ladies. He nodded towards two blond women who were waving and giggling. "Enjoy the sushi."

Micky and Peter looked at the plate, trying to decipher what the food was made of. "That fish looks raw." Micky scowled

Peter shrugged "Maybe it's just not overcooked." He picked up his chopsticks, which were still together, opened the bottom and closed them onto the little rolls of fish, rice and seaweed.

Micky, on the other hand, just resorted to stabbing though it. "Well." He grimaced "Here goes nothing."

They both ate the sushi and Micky made a disgusted face.

"You alrigh' Micky?" Davy asked, picking up a springroll with crossed chopsticks.

The drummer drabbed his cup of tea and downed it "Ugh raw fish. It _had_ to be raw fish!"

"I kind of like it."

"You would."

Davy laughed lightly, shaking his head. "Can you believe those two Mike…" he paused "What on Earth are you trying to do?"

Mike held one chopstick in each hand and continued to attempt at lifting the gyoza "I'm tryin' to eat." He growled before finally succeeding.

The three of them were about to comment at their leader when, out of nowhere, they heard a man scream "Fuzakeruna-yo!"

"Gata-gata itten-ja neyo!"

Two chefs came storming out of the kitchen screaming at each other.

"Dare-ni makatte itten-dayo?"

"Neboken-ja neyo!"

"'ey, do any of you 'ave the slightest idea as to what they're saying?"

Peter looked at the two chefs "Whatever it is, it can't be good."

"Itta-tori-ni shiro yo!"

"Keiro!"

The owner, Ishinomori, ran over to the two chefs and, after much more yelling and a few stares, they stormed back into the kitchen. The four shook their heads, knowing they'd remember this moment for a while. When the waiter returned he was frowning.

"I would like to apologize for my coworkers." He placed a few plates down "I really hope Ishinomori-san punishes them for their disrespect." Muttering, he walked off.

Mike blinked "They really take their jobs seriously."

Micky stabbed into his food "Yeah, we wouldn't last a day working here."

"Maybe you wouldn' Shirley, the rest of us know how to control ourselves."

"You want to say that again midget?!"

"Will the two of you just cool it?" Mike snapped, working with his chopsticks again. "This takes a lot of focus."

"Right, just don't hurt yourself oh great leader."

Peter laughed lightly at his bandmates' antics. Most of this stuff would tear people apart, but it just brought them closer together. That's real brotherhood for you, they could prod at each other like this and there wouldn't be any bad blood between them.

During their conversation, Micky wasn't paying attention to where he was stabbing his chopsticks. All of the sudden, while he was in mid-sentence with Mike, the drummer tried through some of his meat but missed and went through his bowl of rice, leaving them standing straight up.

Suddenly all of the employees, and a few customers, gasped. The room filled with an awkward silence and Mike turned to glare at Micky.

"Mick what did you do?" He whispered harshly

"I don't know." Micky paused before adding quickly "Why do you assume it was my fault?"

"Because you're the one tha' did something the last time."

"What 'last time'"

"The diner incident." Peter answered

Sayuri tried to run over t their table but Ishinomori stepped in front of her. He glared at the drummer, then the chopsticks, then back at Micky.

Micky gave a, frightened, smile and laugh before pulling the chopsticks out of the rice.

Then, with the first English words they heard from him, he growled "Get out."

Waiters grabbed the four musicians and started pulling them out of the restaurant.

"At least let us pay for the meal." The Texan said, trying to shake one of the employees off.

"Your dishonored money is not wanted here!"

Sayuri said something to her boss in Japanese with a pleading voice and only received harsh sounding words. She gave them an apologetic glance before they were finally dragged out.

"Well…" Peter began, brushing himself off "That's another place we can never go back to."

"Sorry guys, I didn't know the sticking chopsticks in rice would annoy them that much."

"It's alrigh' Micky, we didn't know either." The Englishman sighed and put his hands in his pockets and pulled a, folded, piece of paper out of one. "Hm, I wondah wha' this could be." He looked it over, barely noticing Peter, Mike and Micky reading over his shoulder, with mocking grins.

"Well, shotgun, looks like you got her number after all. Probably slipped it to you when you weren't looking." Mike wondered how he was holding back his laughter as his other two bandmates were howling with their own.

Davy rolled his eyes "I'll call 'er tomorrow aftah things 'ave cooled down."

* * *

The next afternoon he called Sayuri, hoping to find out why Ishinomori flipped out on them. As it turned out, sticking chopsticks up in a bowl of rice is _very _offensive in Japan, because it is a reminder of funerals and the dead.

After apologizing profusely the two continued to talk for a while. By the time Davy had to get ready for practice, he and Sayuri had made plans to meet up later that night. "I'll pick you up at seven, can I 'ave your address?" He started to write it down "1340…Beechwood? You must be joking…because we live just a few 'ouses down."

* * *

Well here it finally is, an actual comedic Monkee fic by Dokuhan! Shocking I know, a story that isn't angsting out Davy. Anyway about this idea, see a little over a month ago my birthday came around and my parents, me and two of my friends since elementary school/junior high Meg and Hanan went to a Japanese restaurant. As a fan of Japanese culture it's always amazed me how awkward people are towards their service, in most businesses the motto can be considered as "the costumer is God" and around this time I had just gotten back into the Monkees. So as I'm there this idea starts to form in my noggin, Monkees in a Japanese restaurant PERFECT! I hope some people also noticed my Draft reference. I also decided to use this story to introduce one of my four original characters, oh what a motley crew they are. I'm working on my next oneshot and I have two other fics in the planning stage. See ya soon. 


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